Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Halloween: Otherwise known as torture to teachers of small children

Let me back up:
October 1st or there abouts, a conversation with my mother:

Me: Mom, guess what I'm teaching this month.
Mom: ...English?
Me: Halloween. I'm teaching Halloween. How ironic is that???
Mom: *laughs hysterically*
Me: Seriously though Mom! I don't know anything about Halloween. When I was a child you used to just go off on your rants about how Halloween is a pagan holiday appropriated by early Christianity as another excuse to torment minorities. And I'd just stare at you, all of 6 years old, and say 'but I want to go trick or treating!'
Mom: We have Purim!
Me: That's true. But it doesn't help the fact that as the only American teacher I'm supposed to teach a holiday that I didn't celebrate as a child.
Mom: Guess you better start researching.
Me: Groans
Halloween is on Friday. I hope that the person/people who thought up giving little kids mass amounts of sugar are getting some huge negative karmic kick or something, right along with the Dell people. I have to dress up and then take my kids "trick or treating" to their own apartments and showcase what they've learned about Halloween, including some Halloween songs. I have the sneaking suspicion that the other teachers want to kill me just a bit for teaching those songs because the kids haven't stopped belting them out in about 15 days.
Example Number 1:
Jack o'lantern. Sung to the tune of frere-a-jaques

Jack o'lantern, jack o'lantern.
Burn so bright, burn so bright.
You are a burning brightly, you are burning brightly.
Through the night, through the night.

I would kill me too.

Hopefully, some of the 'candy' will be rice cakes (the amazing tasty homemade Korean version, not the disgusting things sold in the cakes that taste like cardboard--sorry Dad/Josh/Grandma). Also, the parents will take pity on the teachers and give us some too. Or coffee. Coffee would be better. Korean parents are always feeding the teachers. Since I'm always hungry I love it. The other teachers often foist leftover food on me from their kids' parents. I do the same whenever they give me milk laden products. I pretend I'm not hungry and put it away to eat after class and then never eat it. One of my students asked if I wanted some of her snack one day (elementary school classes) and I explained to her that I was allergic to milk. I did have to resort to Korean which I try to never do but a look of dawning comprehension came over her face. Maybe I should just tell all of my students that. Anyways, back to Halloween.

Then I get to send the kids home, take a half hour break and do elementary school classes. I think it's a special schedule so I only have one class instead of 3 but I'm not sure. I pray for one.
Days like Friday make me despair of the fact that RedBull isn't sold in this country. Their version of the energy drink, San San Ton, is utterly lacking in caffeine. I mean, there is some, but you might as well drink some fruit juice for the sugar kick.

Friday night there is a Halloween party at Psycho which I was really looking forward to. The black dress I bought in Paris for my sister in law's bridesmaid dress would be perfect for an Audrey Hepburn 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' look with some long black gloves. However, it occurred to me this morning that there is no way I can wear my black heels as it's still painful to walk in sneakers, let alone my black patent leather heels.

I could be a pirate. I have a white shirt and a red bandana. How boring though. Any ideas?


Josh said...

I think that you need to take that white t-shirt and write in large black letters "pirate costume" on the front....... perhaps draw a crappy parrot on the shoulder too! Maybe flip some letters so it looks low-brow-ish........ make your hair look all crazy and such, sticking out of aforementioned red bandanna at weird angles (i.e. - pirate ships have no showers)...... you could make a similarly ridiculous sword out of card board (maybe shiny cardboard from something like that ham you were given).....

lots 'o random tongue in cheek costume suggestions...... since you can't dress the way you really want to I think that you should have as much fun with it as possible for as little money (preferably none) as you can get away with..... not sure if anyone besides me (you may recall that I'm a bit strange) finds this VERY hilarious, especially in Korea but I have faith that you could pull off just about anything!

P.S. - I'm sad that I keep missing you on skype!!!!! I have been getting up earlier such that I actually have time to talk should you magically appear online.


Chris said...

Wait a second wait a second halloween songs? Never heard of that one before.

Why dont you go as a witch since you're already doing so for your school. ... ok ok probably not as cool or anything but its a start. Pirate sounds pretty alright too. At least you have ideas. I got suggested the other day as going as Tom Cruise from Top Gun but I dont know where i'd find a leather jacket and aviators on such short notice. Love to see what you come up with no matter how mundane you think it is. Im sure it'll be just as great.

Anonymous said...


Josh said...

hmmmmm...... who the anonymous commenter be..... all caps, short message, maybe dad??? :-)

Alex said...

I think you would be correct Mister Josh. :-p. There are a few pics on facebook but Dad you'd have to figure out how to use it... Hee hee. I didn't take any, I mainly was just hanging out with people.