Thursday, April 30, 2009

Alex Teacher-Defender of Small Children Against Evil

Well, defender of evil in the eyes of a 6 or 7 year old. After kindergarten was over for the day, I was sitting at my desk doing some lesson plans when one of the 7 year old students came into my classroom. Her speaking skills aren't the greatest and of course, deteriorate with anxiety like all of my students.
Student: Alex Teacher!
Me: Yes?
Student: Bathroom!
Me: "May I go to the bathroom please?" (The standard way students are required to ask to go to the bathroom before they may go, except for the 5 year olds who we generally want to go as quickly as possible to minimize the chance of them pissing themselves which happens fairly regularly. If they fail to ask properly I go over the question afterward. No need to traumatize the children more than necessary.)
Student: No!
Me: bathroom? Hwa jong sheel? (Korean word for bathroom)
Student: Yes but there is.... *looks highly agitated*
Me: Yes but there is what? No toilet paper? Is someone there?
Student: No. Bathroom ...there is...*thinks hard* BUD!
Me: Bud?
Student: No, buG!
Me: OH! Bug! Okay, let's see it then.

She then followed me to the bathroom and pointed out a microscopic bug that was on the toilet seat. She wouldn't come near it. I quickly squashed it with some toilet paper and reassured her that it was gone and she could go now.

Was I this frightend of bugs when I was a child? I remember being deathly afraid of spiders (not so much daddy long legs as the black ones) but little bugs I could generally deal with on my own. For crickets I would actually scream and make my dad or brother deal with because they would hop at you! Outside, I thought crickets were lovely, as invaders of my bedroom they made me want to cry. In any case, I just don't rememer being that bothered by little bugs. I have many memories of getting obscenely large wads of toilet paper to deal with them and throwing shoes from far away but I could handle myself. I wonder if it comes from living in the woods and always playing outside versus living in the city. My little girls tend to freak out if a fly comes into the classroom, not a bee but a generic fly.

Alex Defender of Small children is celebrating not having work tomorrow by going out tonight. Hurray for no school!


Nancy K said...

All of the above is true. I don't remember you being freaked out by 'small' bugs. Spiders, yeah that was bad.

Josh said...

"Alex Teacher - Defender of Small Children Against Evil" BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Funniest title EVER!!!! I don't remember you being too freaked out by bugs either...... we usually had Mr. Nicky eat them for you.

Alex said...

HAHAHAHA. I forgot about that! Nicky would go nuts over pouncing on spiders and such for me. *misses her Mr. Nicky*

Salsa Boy said...

Any bug that can scare a child is certainly evil. You are a true hero!

Alex said...

I obviously need a hero's cape for teaching!

Josh said...

YES!!!! Get a cape!!! (you could put a Griffindor thing on the back to add extra dork value)